After a long time I wanted to pen down something about myself. Why I opted for writing about myself today is derived from the basic existence of me in this world. Yes, I have seen a dead body yesterday. And I am not afraid, but I m puzzled. The impeccable inertia of the body has made me feel a sense of ability. An ability of motion in the three dimensional space. A sense of life. And an enthusiasm for this sense.
Today, I really want to look back at my life and cherish each and every moment I encountered. My transformation from a homesick kleptomaniac kid to an uncaring adult to a joyful retrosexual to an introvert sexomaniac to a dull recluse and to a ruthless expressionist.
Recently I have felt a radical transformation in me. And I need to express becos I in love with it. Probably I want them to be more profound, more intense: The duality of my existence.
Till a few months back I was more comfortable with the bare nudity of pain in this world. I enjoyed watching poor masses, and the feel of sympathy that erupts in my heart for them. I used to envy of rich considering the poors a victim of a capitalistic manipulative herd. Strange happiness in having a confused and disoriented lifestyle. A dirty ambience attracting my attention and the feel of penury in common class driving my train of thought. A straight declaration of truth being my preferance than to a chocolate coating on a hidden bitterness.
I still believe I was right looking from one side of the frame. But a skewed position to this frame really gives me a very contrasting sense: both equally relishable.
The stinking richness of world has started inspiring me. To watch an exuberance of richness is as savoury to eyes as to feel one’s soothing heart filled with sympathy for poor. The tall and glittering skyscrapers are equally fascinating as green landscape. A complete devotion in love to one’s beloved is as sensuous as the titilating sexual fantasies. I njoy seeing jealosy in someone for others. It brings a smile on my face, and a big laugh in my heart and a sense of joy for being more clean at heart. To be true I am more treacherous.
I have accepted: the diversity is the basic instinct of the humankind and Mother Nature in general. Its not insensitiveness to pain, but to decline to be aloof of this diversity.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment